DANCING WITH THE STARS
SEASON 11 (FALL 2010)
September 20, 2010
Watch Kerri talk about the celeb line up
NOMENOLOGY ANALYSES OF THE CONTESTANTS, BY KERRI HOPKINS
The “Situation” has a new GTL…
Jersey Shore's Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is teamed with Karina Smirnoff - Looks like Mike has a new GTL – “Gitterbug", Tango & Lambada .. Mike & Karina will get along well, she'll like his personality and determination, he'll like that she has a creative flair & the willingness to do risky moves but he WON'T like her bossiness. $100 bucks “The Situation” tries to bang Bristol Palin & Florence Henderson before he’s booted off ..
“Dirty Dancing” meets a Caliente Paso Doble
Jennifer Grey is teamed with Derek Hough - She’s a hard working “people pleaser”, by the 3rd day of practice she’s gonna think –“If God had intended me to fly, he would have put a runway, 2 beers & an escape slide on this dance floor. But I’m guessing daring, adrenaline junkie Derek will have her airborne and twirling laterally in no time .. He’s going to love that she’ll be game for anything – as long as she thinks it will give her the approval of the judges and viewing audience! I like this team – they’re both hard workers, capable and Jennifer is very competitive – should be interesting to watch:)
Do You Have Any “Push Up” Stilettos ..
Audrina Patridge is teamed with Tony Dovolani. Her motto should be “Nothing risqué – nothing gained”. A person named Audrina really wants to prove herself. She hates to be vulnerable so she's going to try extra hard, so that the audience loves her. She'll love Tony - he'll be charming, capable and will always have a "Plan B". So if she can't learn the dance one way - he'll figure out another way to teach her. Audrina gets fortunate opportunities falling at her feet - so expect her to get the best song, best dress - or just when you think she's getting tossed from the show - she'll be saved 'cause someone leaves the show unexpectedly. Oh - and if she dresses anything like she does at the pools in Las Vegas - her cleavage is going to need it’s own pair of dancing shoes …
I Hoff-ten wonder if the Hoff can Cha Cha – better than he can walk a straight line
David Hasselhoff is teamed with Kym Johnson. She’ll love that he’s charming & will work over-time just so he looks good on the dance floor – He’ll love that a Kym is good looking and game for anything. Kym is also shrewd - so she’ll know that she’ll have to teach him in words he’ll understand, like – one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. I’m not saying he has a drinking problem but the last time the Hoff gave a urine sample – it had an olive in it.
Can Cheryl Tame A Bimbo Whisperer???
Rick Fox is teamed with Cheryl Burke. On a scale from 1 to cool – a person named Rick Fox would be “The Fonz”. A Rick is an equal opportunity charmer –. He's such a player that he's the kind of guy who buys "you're my one & only" Valentine's Day cards - in bulk. Cheryl will love that Rick is capable and daring, but she might have to give him a few Personal Fouls, ‘cause he’s bound to be all over her. Rick will love that Cheryl is friendly, competent and willing to give 110% into everything she does. He has a good chance of making this a championship season.
Will I Need My Gun When I Dance The Fox Trot???
Bristol Palin is teamed with Mark Ballas – when god gives you a Mark Ballas as your dance partner - it's like his apology for giving you messed up relatives or ex-boyfriends. Mark’s going to be a great teacher – kind, non-confrontational & GREAT at memorization. He really knows his stuff. A person named Bristol Palin is bold and independent. She knows when to turn her charm button On & Off. She’ll be on her best behavior with Mark and Mark will love working with her - but at some point - her independence and her need to have control in how practice is run - will show through - and Mark will have to make the best of the situation. I don’t see her lasting too long on the show. Her boldness made her feel like she’s cool enough to deserve elite DWTS Celebrity status, but she’s gonna feel like she only has a limited day pass to this soiree.
Michael to go from Singing Diphthongs to Dipping a girl wearing a Thong …
Michael Bolton is teamed with Chelsie Hightower. When you have two people with tons of personality, both out to prove themselves & both who love to joke & embellish stories – you have a tri-fecta of fun. They’ll have a riot working together and he’s going to try really hard. The only problem I see for these two is that a person named Michael Bolton doesn’t mind being told what to do, he just minds doing what he’s told to do.
Move over "Flo Rida" - THIS Flo will be slidin' and glidin' her way into our hearts ..
Florence Henderson is teamed with Corky Ballas. Yeah we know - she could have been Betty White’s 1st roommate in Hollywood - but age isn’t really an issue here - sure she’s 76 but that’s only 24 in Celsius. “Mom Brady” Florence will be extra observant when learning her sambas and both of Corky & Flo will be total “talkers”. So as long as they dance while they talk - they’ll get at least 10 hours of practice time in – every day. They both really want to feel a sense of acceptance and approval and that’s what they’ll give the audience every week – I don’t see her lasting more than 5 weeks - but we’re going to love her every time she’s on stage.
It won’t take a “Hail Mary” for Kurt to score Big !!
Kurt Warner is teamed with Anna Trebunskaya. I’m guessing Kurt will be the only dancer with cleats on his dancing shoes. I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people – including himself. Once he starts practicing his dance moves & learns the play book - this athlete will be a hard worker, competitive and he’s going to do great with his new found contact sport. So as long as Anna doesn’t drive him nuts with her non-stop talking and as long as she doesn’t give him a concussion – I’m picking this team to go far into this competition’s end zone.
It’s tough to Salsa in Combat Boots!!
Margaret Cho & Louis Van Amstel – not feeling the love here – Louis is friendly, talkative, funny, but a Margaret Cho’s assertive nature will piss even him off in no time. A Margaret Cho will have an even temper .. she’ll always be mad at something. When Louie tries to cajole & charm her into a better mood, Cho will fight like she’s battling World War III but her uniform will be made with sequins & high heeled combat boots. I think she’ll be the 1st to go.
He’ll have a Brandy on the rocks, and on the dance floor, in his back seat …
Brandy is teamed with Maksim Chmerkovskly. A person named “Brandy” is smooth and sexy- putting this sex kitten in a room alone with a “throw caution to the wind” anything goes – let’s have fun - "Maksim" is like leaving your pet to vacation with a taxidermist – he’ll be trying to stuff her in no time. As a team - Maksim will be tossing her like a juggler tosses bowling pins - and Brandy will have her flirt on the entire time. These two will have a chemistry because they both like to have fun, act first and think second - expect some crazy moves from these two - on and off the dance floor!
They’ll Be Like “Chris Rock” meets “Tina Fey” with an attitude ..
Kyle Massey is teamed with Lacey Schwimmer – I love these two as a team – they both love to be the center of attention and they both love to have fun – Lacey will have a sassy, sarcastic sense of humor, Kyle will have a funny, self – deprecating humor & opportunities just fall into this guy's lap - hope they can stop laughing long enough to learn a tango.